RA 9: My Paper A

For my paper A, I wrote about the effect of watching violence on adolescent males. My audience was supposed to be adolescent LDS males who have watched violent material. I attempted to persuade them that violence would cause them to be more violent because watching violence makes violence a normal action. Over time people become desensitized to violence and the things that they have seen hundreds of times on the screen, integrate into their own actions. I did not come across as neutral early on so I would have likely lost my audience early on. I did have an appropriate tone however I changed it when I introduced scientific research. I tried to approach things differently than the typical ensign article would teach that violence is detrimental for the mind and soul. I introduced psychological research as well as testimonials and statistical data correlating the increase of violent crime with the increase in violence in the media. My logical claims proved a faulty causation when it is a correlation at best. Over all I provided accurate and relevant data that the audience would accept even if it is an overall claim that they don’t accept. It may not change their habits but it should make them think that little things that you assimilate into your mind have lasting effects on your behavior. I know what I should do for a revision to make this paper more suitable for my target audience.